A simple little church, in a simple tiny town. If I ever doubted that God chose me and had a plan specifically for me all I need to do is look at this little church, set perfectly in place. Here in this town where it seems life would be easy, peaceful and serene. A place where sin ran abundant. It never occured to a child of 10 that there was danger all around. In this little town where the entire school consisted of only 16 students within 7 grades. How much wrong could there possibly be, right? It seems life's lessons are learned early on. By the time I was 10 I lived around drunks, child molestors, child abusers, homosexuals, thiefs, drug addicts, pornography, gang members, teen pregnancies, bankruptcy, and the list continues. The education I received about life happend right here, nestled between the mountains overlooking one small church.

Every day I looked at this church and wondered if God existed why am I surrounded by this? God seemed like some huge being that existed far out of reach for me or anyone here. He couldn't possibly care about a lost world. It almost felt like I was living on the land of misfits and we would never be wanted by a perfect, holy, loving God. We did not belong in his world as we were all so full of sin. Understand I had no teaching about God or his word or any of that. I believed in God, that he existed. That was about as deep as my knowledge went. What I didn't know, was that God was right there with me. He saw everything and much more that I did not. He saw the thoughts and hearts of man. He knew the evil that existed and I believe he shielded me from so much more.

As I look at this church, it symbolizes a God that desires to have us know him. He sits and waits. He does not force himself upon us. He does however, persue us. He loves us and he seeks after us. I know he was seeking me, even then. He was asking me to draw nearer. He gave me just enough light that I knew there was more to the story. I always felt it in my heart. To find good in people was not enough. I had to find the wrong, the sin. I had to realize that I belonged here just as much as any of the others. I am a sinner. He is a savior. Those are our roles. He loves us in spite of the sin and desires that we would love him too.

I have since come to know Him in a much deeper way. I can honestly say that I love him more each day. It amazes me that even in the same family, we all have a different story. I went one direction and my siblings went different ways. A relationship with Christ is not based on who our parents are, how we are raised or where we live. It is a personal relationship. I don't understand it fully, but I can trust the author of my life.

This one simple picture stirs up more emotion within me than I ever imagined. It's just a simple little church. It is a symbol of light in the darkness. As a child, ok, even as an adult, I would dream of my prince riding in on a white horse to rescue me. To save me and to love me. Here he is, do you see him? He will never let me go. He loves me with an everlasting love. He did not let me walk away, but kept asking me to come near. Can you hear him whisper your name? I can. He placed a weeping willow tree in my yard and I would sit for hours and listen to the gentle whisper of the wind. Could that have been him? Just a short walk down the hill and there was a babbling brook, Basin Creek. I sat along that creek bed day after day. Listening to the water rush past me. Looking for minnows and hoping not see a snake. I never tired of it. I loved the bridges that allowed me to walk from one side to the other. I loved to watch twigs and leaves as they floated gently over the water. Peaceful in the midst of pain. He placed a symbol of goodness at the base of the hill on which I lived. He faced me, and watched over me. He greeted me every day. He walked beside me on the mountain tops and along the creek beds. He planted wild flowers all around me. He displayed gorgeous mountains to surround me, almost like a hug. He placed people in my life that would lead and guide me to Him. Yet, he asked me to walk among them to see the heartache, the pain, the sadness. I saw a lot. I cried a lot. Why me Lord? Why not some of these others who were hurting so badly? I don't have all the answers and I do not know how he will draw each one to himself, but I have to believe if he planted this seed within my heart, he can do anything. He loves us with a love we do not understand. I have been forever changed. He is my all in all. He is my prince, my knight, my savior, my best friend. All I ever need can be found in him.

I love this picture. I pray you have a simple little church that draws you to our savior. That whipsers hope into your life. Let the Son light your way in this dark and fallen world. Take time to listen as he whispers your name.

just tryin to help!

September 3, 2010 ~ Day three

Early this morning there was a discussion in our house that went something like this.......

"Mom, I had to use my cell phone as a light so I could see in my room." (Jessica)

"That is what lights are for." (Dad)

"My light has been burned out for weeks now, I am just waiting for someone to change it." (Jess)

"This is the first I have heard of it. I will try to fix it tonight or this weekend." (Dad)

"I can change it for her!!!" (Aaron)

"Thanks bud, that's ok, just wait and you can help me." (Dad)


Dad and Jessica leave to start their day. I tell Aaron I am going to take a quick shower and then I will take him to school.
Meanwhile...........

Aaron thinks to himself, I could change that light, I just know I could. Wouldn't Dad be surprised and happy to not have one more thing to have to do this weekend? So he takes a bar stool and screw driver into the bedroom and proceeds to unscrew the cover to the lights. As he does this, the glass cover falls and shatters all over his sisters floor.

Terror strikes his fragile heart. Oh no! I am going to be in so much trouble. I was only trying to help. I was doing a good thing. He knocks on the door and is visibly upset. I ask him what is wrong and he says... nothing I will tell you about it when you are done.

I come out of the bathroom ready for something awful. He is in tears and very upset by this point.

"Aaron, what is wrong?" (mom)

"Mom, I am so sorry. I should have listend to Dad. He told me to wait but I thought I could help!" (Aaron)

"Help with what? What did you do?" (mom)

"I tried to change the light in Jessica's room and now there is glass everywhere." (Aaron)

"Oh no, Aaron, are you ok? Did you get cut?" (mom)

"I'm ok, I didn't get hurt but the light cover is broken! Dad is going to be so mad at me." (Aaron)

"Aaron, it is ok. Accidents happen. Yes, you should have listend to Daddy and this is why. You could have been hurt or you could break something. That is why Dad asked you to wait. It isn't because he didn't think you could do it but some things are better done with help. It will be ok. We will get the glass picked up and we will fix the light later. Thank you for trying to help." (mom)

Aaron and I went in and proceeded to pick up the glass and vacuum up the tiny pieces. I just pray we got it all.
The broken glass was easy to clean up, his broken spirit was harder to see. Did I get all the big pieces? What are the small pieces that will pierce him later? I so dearly love his spirit of helpfulness. He has a strong desire to prove himself. He has a kind heart and is always willing to help but especially wants to help with things that seem big. This 30 day challenge could not have come at a better time. What a lesson knowing when to take initiative and help and when to obey. Obedience should always come first. I can think of a number of times I have cried out to my heavenly Father with the same words. "I was only trying to help" and as is usually the case, he asked me to obey first. Whoops. Sometimes we forget that part.

Obedience is always the most important of all.

Such a great start to a long weekend. Lord, protect my children as they go through their day. Keep them safe and help them to seek you along the way. I am here to love them and guide them but I know they will stumble and their choices may not always be the best. Help me to be patient in my love and discipline. Thank you for giving me such sweet little ones. They are tender and loving and compassionate, just like you.

Day 2 on a journey of Excellence in Every way!

Day 2 ~ and the journey continues.

Today, as with most days, I was pulled from a peaceful slumber into a frenzy of chaos. Is it any wonder mornings are not my most favorite time of day? Today, yet another day to rejoice, as my youngest was ready to get dressed and needed help, and the good news is that she woke up dry. Yes, potty training for the most part has been completed and with success. So thrilled to be done with diapers. Every day is a day to rejoice with her success.

Jessica was up and ready to leave for school.

Aaron was the next to be gotten up and ready for school. He is much like his mother in that he would like to wake on his own and that seldom happens. He, however, has a much better attitude about facing the morning with a smile. He got up and got himself ready for school. Today was the big day. He would find out if he made a part in the school play. He is so excited about it and really felt his audition went well. He told me he would call at lunch time and let me know if he got a part. Much to his disappointment, he did not make it. He seems to be handling it quite well. His greater disappointment turned out to be that he took a test yesterday and was hopeing for an A + but instead got an A -. I love his hard work and determination. He sets high goals for himself and strives very hard to achieve them. He is a blessing to be around. He encourages me every day to better, always to be better.

Today, I prayed that God would give me wisdom and insight on this journey. That he would show me the excellence in my children. He would reveal things to me that I take for granted and shut my eyes to, instead of embrace and rejoice. As, He is always faithful to do, when I take the time to listen, he revealed his answer to me.

Proverbs 2: 1-11

My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He holds victory in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones. Then you will understand what is right and just and fair -every good path. For wisdom will enter your heart and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul. Discretion will protect you and understanding will guard you.

Isn't He amazing? As I cry out for answers, understanding, open eyes, wisdom, knowledge, etc. He gives the perfect answer. He has blessed me with three amazing kids. All of which are unique and different and special in their own ways. He has gifted them and given them temperaments that are all their own. It is a most wonderful opportunity to watch as they become the individuals that God has designed them to be. I am blessed beyond words to be a part of their lives. I know that just as he has created them, he created them to be born of me. So, he will give me all the wisdom and understanding and knowledge necessary to know how to best parent them and love them and guide them. I will undoubtedly fail in many ways, but God will not.

One of the greatest lessons I ever learned as a mom was with my first born. She is a miracle baby, in the truest sense of the word. I, will never forget the day I knelt beside a hospital bed, crying out to God to save this precious child and heard him gently tell me to release her into his hands. I knew then, the meaning of "God gives and takes away" on such a deep level. I had nothing left to do but trust. I vividly recall "giving" her back to Him. It was in that moment I believe he healed her. He gave her back, he didn't have to and he doesn't always. In this situation, he did. It was then, I understood completely that life is precious. None of us are guaranteed a tomorrow and that all of my children belong exclusively to him. He has just entrusted them to me for as long as it is His will. So I pray, let me be found faithful.

It is only day 2 but I have come to realize that this journey is so much more about my relationship with God than about finding excellence in my children. They are perfect, I know that full well, because they are made and created by Him. The struggle for me is in opening my eyes to all that is good.

30 Days of Excellence!

What an intimidating challenge! I have willingly and joyfully accepted the challenge of living the next 30 days in excellence. To look at my children as the blessing that they are and to use my words in such a way as to build them up and encourage them.

Here's how my day started:
I said a quick prayer as I jumped out of bed. Thinking of all the things that needed to be done and OH the dread! When all of a sudden it hit like lightening, today is the first of September, I must be enlightening! I can do this, Lord, with your help I whispered. I am an encourager by nature, right? And before I was even awake and alert, I was greeted by my 3 year old.... "mommy I need a different skirt, this one is wet!" Well, of course my mind raced to why it was wet... "Did you wet the bed?" Yes was her reply and so my spirit grumbled. As I sleepily and begrudgingly stumbled my way out of my bedroom, I thought to myself, oh how I detest first thing in the morning. To my happy surprise, she had not wet the bed, in fact she was dry. Everything about her was dry; she just wanted to get dressed. Ah.. my opportunity to praise. Good job, Justina! You are dry. I am so proud of you!! (and I meant this too, but truth be told I was most thrilled to not have extra laundry to wash, dry and fold). Then I turned to my 14 year old who had a look about her that matched my mood. "Have you eaten breakfast? You have to leave soon." No, she said, I am not hungry. My mind recalled that she had said the same thing last night at dinner and immediately I began to worry. "Jessica, you have to eat. You need energy, you cannot go all day without food." My sweet husband jumped in and asked her to eat just a couple of bites of yogurt. So she solemnly walked into the kitchen and opend a yogurt and had .. 2 bites, just as requested. That left me with a half eaten yogurt that no one else wanted to touch. Grrrrr.. my spirit grumbled. Within minutes she was walking out the door. Yes, I said goodbye, but was I encouraging? Not that I recall. That left me with my 11 year old. He is by far the most good natured child in our house. I reminded him to please eat something while I took a shower and got myself together for the day. He did so and even managed to put his dish in the sink and put the food away. Another grand opportunity to praise, however, this time instead of praising him for doing what was right, I found something else to harp about. Aaron, I asked you take the garbage out. "oh, yeah, and he immediately did so." Another grand opportunity of praise, I may have mumbled thank you but did he really know how much I appreciated it? UGH, this encouraging and praising thing is so hard first thing in the morning. I did compose myself enough to tell him that I am very proud of him and that I would be praying for him today as he is auditioning for a part in the school play. He is not in drama but it was an open audition and he jumped at the opportunity.

Well, that was the way my morning started. So I thought, when I get home, I am going to spend some much needed time with the Lord before I attempt at this blog. So I did, and as so often happens with these intimate moments, his word was encouraging to ME. Well, of course it would be, as he is on this journey with me. He will lead by example, he will love the unlovable, he will find what is right and praiseworthy and show me love. He also lovingly, shows me that part that is not right, that part that needs work. He shows me where I am falling short and I need his spirit to fill me to righteousness. Oh how undeserving I am to be a child of God. On my own, I am unworthy, thank you Jesus for giving me your righteousness, when I deserve condemnation.
I prayed, "God give me wisdom and help me take every opportunity to praise and encourage today." He replied: "Proverbs 16:23 - A wise man's heart guides his mouth, and his lips promote instruction." Oh, I said. So, if my heart is not right the words of my mouth will not be filled with praise and encouragement. The instruction that comes from my lips will be from a heart that is not filled with love. Ouch. Ok, Lord, here is my heart.... create in me a clean heart, oh Lord. And the very next verse.. Proverbs 16:24 - Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Well, this told me that with God, anything is possible. That with pleansant words they can bring sweetness to the soul and HEALING to the bones. God is good... all the time. He is able to heal a lifetime of hurts. Our words are powerful, able to bring life and death to those who hear them. They can be a healing balm or cut like a knife. The choice is up to me. I can choose to use my words to bring life.This is the goal of the challenge afterall. I cannot take back careless words from the past, but I can put them in the healing hands of my Lord and He can bring restoration to the souls of those I have injured with my words. Praise you Lord, Jesus. Reading on, of course, the verse that brought me to this place in the beginning: Proverbs 18:21 - The tongue has the power of life and death and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Well, day one has started off a bit tough and I am sure there will be many more difficult days ahead, but even in the midst of my sinful, human nature, God is able to bring good. I cling to his power and fall before him asking forgivness. I, definitely need this 30 day challenge. My children need me to accept this challenge. May God be glorified through this life changing process.

Thanks Dana!